Can you imagine being a member of Herschel Walker‘s campaign and having to spend your days pretending there’s a brain rattling around in that vacuum-sealed magic mist container he calls his head? It must be hard enough defending him while keeping up with the ever-growing list of lies he’s told, but imagine trying to juggle that responsibility along with the task of convincing people that he possesses a modicum of intelligence while also coming up with fresh excuses for why he keeps dodging debate invitations like a roadrunner dodging ACME products.
On Friday, the Georgia Republican Senate candidate told 13 WMAZ that he had no plans to appear for an October 13 debate against Sen. Raphael Warnock in Macon, Georgia, that he had previously agreed to. His excuse? Well, Walker didn’t want to debate Warnock while millions of Americans would be distracted by Sunday football—which would almost be a viable excuse if not for the fact that October 13 lands on a Thursday.
“I’m not going to respond to anything because you know that’s not a debate, and you know that,” Walker said. “You’ve got people that are contributors to his campaign and it’s in this room that only two people gonna see it on a Sunday night, I think. NFL Football, I am giving you an opportunity to be statewide so everybody can see what it is, see the contrast between the two of us. I don’t know how you can ask for anything better.”
As usual, Walker is just kind of fumbling around with words and non-sequiturs and calling it an explanation. The fact that he just threw out a wild guess as to what day of the week the Macon debate falls on shows that either he just made an on-the-spot excuse or he’s just not crafty enough to understand that people literally have calender apps right on their phones. Either way, this might give us some insight into why Walker has been so shy about appearing for debates.
To be fair though, Walker said he is still ready for the October 14 debate he previously agreed to in Savannah, Georgia. (It would be hilarious if on that day he opened with, “Happy Monday, everyone!”)
“It is like the ‘Rumble in the Jungle.’ Everyone gets a chance to see he and I go at it,” Walker said. “This little country boy that’s not too smart, and I am trying to unseat a Senator who is wrecking things. I’m going to call him Wreck-It Ralph. He ought to get to Savannah, Georgia, to go up against Herschel Walker.”
Well, at least he understands that he’s “not too smart.” You just know he spent literal days coming up with that corny-a** “Wreck-it-Ralph” quip. (Also, why is Walker saying Warnock “ought to get to Savannah, Georgia, to go up against Herschel Walker” when that’s…that’s exactly what he’s scheduled to do? TF is wrong with this man?
WMAZ noted that Walker excepted the debate during a Fox News appearance, and he had that same WWE script energy as if he isn’t the one who has been dodging debates like Nick Cannon dodges condom purchases.
“It is time that people see the difference. So on Oct. 14, I want Sen. Warnock to be ready because I have accepted a debate,” Walker said. “Now he can quit talking and show the people he’s going to stand behind his words and show up for the debate.”
First, everyone can already see the many differences between Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock. Only one of the two is a man who speaks in coherent sentences and isn’t a perpetual Black patsy for white nationalism. And the other one is the sunken place weirdo who has a clear record of refusing to “show up” for debates.
In fact, the latter dodges debates like he dodges the lives of his secret children.
OK, I’m done.