I recently received a text message from a male friend. He wanted to get a female perspective on a conversation he was having with a male friend.
In the text message he asks if I think a guy should propose to his girlfriend to keep her family from hating him.
*Insert confused and annoyed look here*
He explains by saying his buddy has been with his girl for 10 years and he hasn’t popped the question. He tells him he should ask her to marry him because if he doesn’t her family will hate him.
*Insert completely disgusted look here.*
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My response:
First, the relationship is between his buddy and his buddy’s girl, not the buddy, the girl and the family. With that said, it’s not her family’s place to hate him.
Second, if he doesn’t want to marry her or he isn’t ready to be married then he shouldn’t ask her to marry him. If she is good with the relationship then they are good. If she isn’t good with not being married then he has a problem. Not asking her could result in him losing her.
Third, every man should know that a woman puts in time with the intention of getting the prize – the ring and the man. At some point every man will have to sh*t or get off the pot.
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The bigger issue for me is that this man is even feeling this way. There has to be pressure from her family for him to marry her. That is a big no-no.
Ladies we have to make it clear to our friends and family that our relationship is ours. We can’t allow them to come into our situation and cause problems. They shouldn’t put pressure on your significant other and shouldn’t have conversations about your relationship with them. We have to keep people out our relationships and learn to manage them ourselves.
The bottom line – *in my Tamar Braxton voice* Girl, get’cho life and handle your family. Don’t allow them to come between your man. If you have an issue, tell him. The relationship is between you and him – not you, him and them. Allowing others into your relationship is a prescription for disaster.
